Mines And Enemy Lines

In my family an argument between two siblings almost always fades away just as quickly as the disagreement surfaces.

If Mama Gumola gets involved, said argument turns into a full scale battle lasting much longer than necessary; the woman knows how to hold a grudge.

Battle lines are drawn, and often quietly crossed. Double agent-like behavior is not only almost a necessity; it's become expected between the family members involved. And cue my last phone call:

YBJ: "She's insane. Our Mother is insane. Her favorite necklace is missing and she thinks I took it to a pawn shop."
Me: "But you didn't. I know."
YBJ: "You know?"
Me: "She did this a few years ago. She doesn't trust the people working on the house, I don't blame her, and so she hides her valuables behind her sweaters in the dresser. She'll find it. She simply misplaced it."
YBJ: "Dude, I can't take it. She's driv---"
Me: "Hold on, she's beeping through. *click* Hello?"
Mama G: "My necklace is missing. That little thief!"
Me: "That bastard! Who am I bastardizing?"
Mama G: "He's on the other line, isn't he?! You better tell your brother to come home right---"
Me:"*click* Dude! Retreat! RETREAT! Come stay with me until this blows over."
Mama G: "It's still me, dear."
Me: "*click* Dude, you're fucked."

It's hard being an undercover agent when one has trouble with simple tasks. Like call waiting.

This entry was posted by Frankie, on 10.26.2007. You can leave your response.