Reach Out And Cut A Bitch

Count 'em kids. Four, four unsolicited sales calls during dinner this evening.

Let's review how I handled them from mild language to OHNOYOUDIDN'T:

1.) "Please press one to hear more about this fantastic travel offer." *boop* "Thanks for holding. My name i-". And that's all I heard before reaching for 'Honk Honk' the air horn. Poor thing now needs a hearing aid or surgery on her ear canal.

2.) "Your car insurance is about to expire! Press one to speak to an operator about renewal!" *boop* "May I have the make and mod-"
"Hi. Hold please." I then placed the receiver next to the speakers on my laptop. I fired up gay porn. Loudly.

3.) "May I speak to the lady of the house?"
"Speaking." *click* *dial tone*

4.) "Did you know that I can cut your heating costs in half?"
"Did you know that I can Google this number, find your place of employment, show up wielding an ax and chop off your balls?"

I'm surprised I was able to complete that last sentence before the caller hung up on me. I've been calling that last number back for about a half an hour now, loudly playing the more disturbing scenes from the 'Hostel' movies in the background.

I swear I heard the poor thing quietly sobbing once or twice.

This entry was posted by Frankie, on 2.07.2008. You can leave your response.