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Reach Out And Cut A Bitch

Count 'em kids. Four, four unsolicited sales calls during dinner this evening.

Let's review how I handled them from mild language to OHNOYOUDIDN'T:
    1.) "Please press one to hear more about this fantastic travel offer." *boop* "Thanks for holding. My name i-". And that's all I heard before reaching for 'Honk Honk' the air horn. Poor thing now needs a hearing aid or surgery on her ear canal.

    2.) "Your car insurance is about to expire! Press one to speak to an operator about renewal!" *boop* "May I have the make and mod-"
    "Hi. Hold please." I then placed the receiver next to the speakers on my laptop. I fired up gay porn. Loudly.

    3.) "May I speak to the lady of the house?"
    "Speaking." *click* *dial tone*

    4.) "Did you know that I can cut your heating costs in half?"
    "Did you know that I can Google this number, find your place of employment, show up wielding an ax and chop off your balls?"
I'm surprised I was able to complete that last sentence before the caller hung up on me. I've been calling that last number back for about a half an hour now, loudly playing the more disturbing scenes from the 'Hostel' movies in the background.

I swear I heard the poor thing quietly sobbing once or twice.

  1. Blogger Jeff | 2/13/08, 2:22 PM |  

    This is why, when Plus One is about to hang up, I say, "No, no! Give it to me!"

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